My first job was at Banana Republic. I took that seasonal job because I was in college and needed money. At the time, I did the best in sales and opening credit cards. The older people who worked there couldn’t take me. When I went back for the second semester of sophomore year, I transferred to a different store in DC. I worked all winter then once spring hit and the yard started popping, I left. And didn’t even flinch.
Fast forward eight years. I needed that zeal for personal satisfaction and the intuition to know when it’s time to go - and do so without hesitation.
Early 2023, a few weeks after my 27th birthday, I quit my dream job. Or, what I thought was my dream job. I put it off for months. But finally, I left - and everything shifted.
Mid-l(evel)ife crisis
I’m a person who is a high achiever. Being good at things makes me happy and I look at doing things that I'm good at. I get validation from excellence. Achievement drives me. So when I do things, I do them well. I don’t half ass anything. Including my job.
People in the workplace recognize when you’re good at your job. When you are exceeding expectations, it makes their job easier and makes them look better to their manager. But if you’re mid level in career, there's a lot of managing up and down. So not only am I training the next generation of valuable employees, I’m doing the job of the superior so that we can all look good to the big boys.
Then, because you are good at your job - when there's a need for a valuable project or client they look to the MVE (most valuable employee). So now you're managing up, down and across for “visibility”. Get a grip.
I was already facing these problems but adding the layer of reality TV to the mix really exacerbated the problem. Between working and filming and side projects, I had no time for anything else.
Because of that, at work, I only wanted to do the work. The paperwork, the timesheets, the coffee chats, I didn't want to do any of it. I just wanted to produce really impactful work. If it wasn't helping me grow professionally, I didn't not want to do it.
Overcoming Fear
Fear has been a big word for me in 2023. Fear has held me back from a lot. Getting over fear of the unknown, uncomfortability, fear of a lifestyle change were also huge “hurdles for me and the fear of not being good at whatever I do next was really fucking with me.
We’re only in control of ourselves. We can’t control what other people do, how they move, the company’s policies, none of that. I can only control myself and my actions and reactions. I knew it was time to go but fear of the unknown held me back.
The shift/back on the Market
In my 10 months off, I get up and do exactly what I want. Some days I feel like a slob. Some days I feel like the cutest little housewife with the most perfect life. Everyday I feel better than I did while working. Everyday I feel like I’m actually living and not just alive. And that is the best part. Actually living life every day on my own terms.
While I am back on the job market , I will cherish this time in my life forever. It has truly shaped who I am, what I want, what I like, and more. I needed this.
But I’m back! I’m back on the job hunt and I am taking you with me. This new blog series - Please Advise! Career Challenges Confronted will explore key themes relating to career - networking, pivoting, negotiating, side hustles, and more. In partnership with transform the hustle, I’ll be sharing some of my personal experiences along with resources for you to use and learn from too.
Stick around to learn more!
Why? Because I said so
xoxo Amanda
Transform The Hustle is a Black-owned and led cultural consultancy with an aim to increase access and representation for black corporate professionals and independent creators through brand collaborations, job opportunities, philanthropic initiatives, and innovative programming. They focus on creating impactful and inclusive spaces for the community and breaking down barriers that often limit opportunities for Black professionals and independent creators.
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